Spy Crack
by wolfprincess94
Summary: Yeah, it's kinda sexy, kinda random, kinda silly. Hope you like it.


You loved being a Sniper, and the reason was simple: You could booty-hunt through your scope. You were currently with your mentor, the RED! Sniper, nice guy, fairly good-looking himself, green eyes, long legs and an accent to drool over. He was teaching you how to snipe correctly, since you were new and about to replace the current Femme!RED! Sniper as soon as her contract was up. He's sitting across from you, yammering on about "Snoiping", but your mother always said you had a short attention span, and you were finding yourself slowly tuning him out, looking around through your scope. You trail it over the RED! base, bringing it up to an empty window, maybe someone's room? You didn't really care, at least not until the Spy comes into view, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly. You sneak a quick look at your company, he's still distracted so you continue to watch the man through the window. He slowly pulls off his suit jacket, shrugging his broad shoulders as he does. "Ooo... Come on baby~" You whisper as he turns towards the wall... staring at the dot... to your rifle... Shit! He doesn't look angry though, or irritated, instead a knowing smirk contorts his masked face as he loosens his tie and you find yourself thanking the heavens.

"*Name* darlin, are you listenin' to me?" Sniper asks from beside you and you quickly move your rifle away from the window, nodding quickly at him. "Yeah! I thought I saw a rabbit, I was gonna clip it! Heh..." He raises an eyebrow at your behavior before turning back to his own rifle, to which you continue your peeping. Spy, in the time you weren't looking at him, has lit a cigarette, he turns to you again, smiling as smoke billows out of his lips. He unbuttons his vest, removing it as well. You lick your lower lip as he makes his way over to a record player, setting the needle onto the record before seductively curving his body along to the unheard beat. "Yes..." You practically hiss as he slowly unbuttons his shirt, letting it gracelessly fall to the floor, turning back away from you he pulls his cigarette from between his lips, blowing out a large puff of smoke before licking his lips slowly, snubbing out what remained of the cancer stick. He places a gloved finger to his lips, making a shushing gesture before placing his other hand to his chest, over his heart.

"Name*?! Are you listening to what oi'm sayin'?" Sniper once again interrupts, and you turn to him again, hoping your face isn't notably red. "Yes! Ah hmmm, I mean, yes. Keep talkin' Aussie man." Your voice cracks as you speak, but Sniper ignores it, watching you for a second before continuing his speech. You aim your scope back at the deliciousness in the window, how much is that hot frenchman in the window? The one with the balaclava? You giggle quietly, but that is soon stifled as his hand on his heart, innocent at first slowly moves down the front of his body. His mouth opens, undoubtedly in a quiet groan as his hand reaches certain parts of his anatomy. You gulp quite loudly, watching him stroke himself over his slacks before he takes both hands and slowly rubs over the button, undoing it. Your about to fall off the crate your sitting on, lower lip trapped between your teeth, nearly biting it to bleeding. He smirks broadly as he slowly pulls the zipper down, you can see the wonderfulness that is his happy trail, trimmed and neat leading down to French heaven, before he stops, getting your attention as you train on his face. He shakes his head and points at something behind you, grinning mischievously. Your body tenses as you slowly turn around to look, Sniper is standing there, his green eyes boring into yours with the Australian death stare, you can feel your body shrinking at the intensity of it.

"What in the bloody blazes are you starin' at?!" He nudges you out of the way, training his scope on the window, you carefully peek through yours, just in time to see Spy cup himself and mouth the words "Fuck off" to Sniper, who growls in disgust. "Oi'm gonna take away your snoipin' rights! Oi'm gonna break the scope, offa your rifle!" You whimper as Sniper grabs your rifle, making his way out of the nest, grumbling the entire way. "She'd rather stare at French bastards than learn ow' to Snoipe!" You sit and pout for a second, before remembering something, you reach into your vest, pulling out a small pair of binoculars, holding them up triumphantly.

"Ok, sweet thing... finish showing mommy what you got~"


End file.
